Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Great Xander Harris Avengers Geek Out
by Dravenuk
Summary: It's summer in Sunnydale and Buffy, Xander and Willow go to see Marvel's The Avengers, the new superhero team-up movie made by some famous TV guy. After the movie, Xander has a major geek out, much to Buffy's irritation...


It was late evening in Sunnydale, California, and leading the crowd exiting the town's Sun Cinema were two teenage girls and one overexcited teenage boy with a big goofy grin stretched across his face.

"Well that was just…AWESOME!" declared the insanely grinning Xander Harris as he began leaping madly around his two best friends in the world. "They nailed it. Marvel Awesomeness Assembled! WOOHOO!"

Buffy Summers rolled her eyes.

"Calm down, Xan," she said. "It was just a movie."

"Uh oh," murmured Willow Rosenberg next to her.

Rushing forward, Xander turned in front of Buffy, blocking her path, forcing both girls in to an emergency stop.

Scowling at Buffy, he said, "Excuse me, little Ms Marvel, but did I hear you correctly?"

Willow looked imploringly at her best friend since childhood. "Oh, Xan, you can't…"

Xander held up a silencing hand. "Oh, but I can, Will. And I will, Will."

Buffy giggled.

Xander's scowl intensified.

"What's so funny?" He demanded.

"Will, Will," said Buffy, still giggling.

And Xander giggled too. "Yeah, sounds a bit like…" He caught himself, his scowl returning. "_Hey_, don't distract me with your girlish ways."

Buffy sighed and stepped past the boy, heading briskly now in the direction of the Espresso Pump coffee bar, Willow trotting after her.

"What's the biggie, Xan?" said Buffy as she continued onwards towards the coffee bar hangout. "Sure, it was a pretty cool movie. Shiny and lots of big explosions. But, I mean, who talks like that in real life? It was all a bit…"

"Sarcastic? Quippy? Smart-alecky?" offered Willow, back at Buffy's side.

"It was smart, funny, well written and provided everything that a major Marvel geek like me needed from Earth's Mightiest Heroes," declared Xander from right behind the pair. He was sounding rather put out by Buffy's lack of blown away-ness.

"And I'm happy for you, Xan," said Buffy, her eyes keeping forward, keeping on moving. "Really I am. Just not so much down with the whole superhero thing myself."

"That's cuz you're a real life superhero, Buff," Xander pointed out.

With that, he skipped back around in front of Buffy, stopped, and struck a noble hands-on-hips-Superman-like pose, announcing in a booming voice:

"_She came from ancient times to protect the Earth from the scourge of evil, to protect the innocent, to fight for truth, justice and…"_

"Iced Caffè Mocha," Buffy enthused, making a hard right turn in to the busy looking Espresso Pump.

The teenage troika made their way through the café bar's crowd of clientèle, heading for the busy counter.

"Okay, Will, what'll you have?" asked Buffy, glancing at Willow who was standing next to her at the counter.

Willow just stared glumly at the menu on the wall behind, saying nothing

After several seconds of no answer from her friend, Buffy, eyebrows rising, said, "That wasn't a trick question, Will."

The red-headed Wiccan sighed.

Shoulders slumping, she gave Buffy a meek look.

"Sorry, just been trying to cut down on the heavy caffeine intake. Its been making me extra cranky lately. Its been effecting my spell casting."

Xander, back standing directly behind the two girls, said, "Yeah? Can't say I noticed. You've been your usual mellow, chilled out Willowy self."

Willow shook her head sadly. "No. I haven't. Last night, I was with Oz, and I tried yet another spell to de-rat Amy. I made a mistake on the first chant. Got real aggravated. Swore in Latin. Nearly turned poor Oz in to a chinchilla."

"Ice water only for the Witch," Xander told Buffy without missing a beat.

Buffy laughed.

"I think you're safe, Xan," she said, but added with a teasing smile, "Though best not to chance it by upsetting our very own Black Widow here."

"Ah!" Xander exclaimed with glee, jabbing his finger at Buffy. "So, you liked the sexy redhead kick-ass super chick."

"I liked the sexy redhead kick-ass super chick," offered Willow.

"You ARE a sexy redhead kick-ass super chick," said Buffy.

Willow's eyes lit up. "Yes, I am, aren't I? Just more magic and less with all the nasty guns and the…ass kicking."

She looked at her feet and sighed again.

Xander opened his mouth to say something. But before he could, the Slayer shot him an impatient glare.

"Yeah, Xan," said Buffy. "I liked the movie, okay? It was cool. It was fun. And Hammer Guy was a total hottie. And I liked how Angry Green Guy smacked down the Giles sound-alike."

"Ha! Yeah, "Puny God!" laughed Xander. He nudged Buffy and whispered, "Might be a handy quip to use if you ever have to go up against a real honest to God god."

"Like THAT will ever happen," said Buffy. A dreamy look then took her face. "Though, if said god looked like Hammer Guy I could happily deal."

"Thor," Xander corrected her.

"Mmm, I think I would be," agreed Buffy, still a little dreamily.

"Eww," cried Willow, before breaking up with laughter.

"Oh God," Xander groaned, shaking his head. "I'm surrounded by pop culture philistines."

"I'm ordering," said Buffy, grinning at her friends. "On me. So what'll it be guys?"

Willow and Xander told her what they wanted, thanking her for picking up the tab.

"So... Who wrote and directed the movie?" Willow asked a still exasperated looking Xander.

The teenage boy shrugged. "Some new guy. Made a TV show a while back that people seemed to like. Something about kids in High School fighting evil. Never saw it."

Willow chuckled. "Yeah? Maybe we should sue. Maybe he knows us somehow. Maybe he used magic to steal our lives for big TV success."

Xander gave Willow an 'are you serious?' look.

"OR-" he countered. "-the guy is just a really good writer with a big imagination."

"OR... Maybe we're just figments of _his_ imagination," Buffy offered, turning back from the counter to hand her friends their drinks. "Maybe we aren't real at all and this is just one big crazy fantasy in the head of some big shot Hollywood guy."

The three friends fell silent, staring at each other, their eyes grown big and filled with doubt.

Eventually Xander snorted and said dismissively, "Yeah, right. Nobody would watch a TV show about us. I mean, for a start, what would it be called?"

"How about 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'?" offered Buffy.

"Oh man! That's a _terrible_ title for a TV show," laughed Xander, shaking his head.

Buffy gave him a scathing look.

"Oh I dunno, Xan," said Willow, taking a sip of her drink, her eyes glittering with amusement. "I think it has quite the ring to it."

**The End **


End file.
